3 Principles of Successful People
Hey there readers, thank you for stopping by for yet another blog. Please give a feedback in the comment section below. As usual, I will respond to everyone.
I guess that many people are pretty intimate with being stuck at one place in life. In fact, I am perhaps the biggest ambassador for being stuck at one place in life- for a very very VERY long time.
One of my greatest challenges was that I DID NOT realize that I was stuck!
This post will be geared at pulling a few “stuck” people up, from out of that ‘stuck’ place in their lives.
Here is what I have come to realize- the very first step to achieving peace of mind, success or any other astronomically great thing– is to ACKNOWLEDGE your position.
When you have made a consciously-deliberate decision, in acknowledging your position, the magic has just started.
You see, someone may come and tell you that you really need help. Yes, they can do that, but if YOU are not willing to acknowledge that you need help, you will HEAR what they say, but you won’t be LISTENING.
Also, it should be noted that, changing your life is not an easy task.
Many people would want to start (or even have) a successful business online (for example)…. It appears to be a truly daunting task; giving up a ‘stable pay check‘ to dive into this unpredictable labyrinth.
What will compound the task (for way too many people) in taking that first all-important step is…… FEAR!
For most people, it is the fear of failure, but for many others, it is the FEAR OF SUCCESS…..!
Believe it or not, not many people can handle success, and in their minds, they have already settled for an average life. Along with fear, are the numerous insecurities.
However, the biggest obstacle for many many people, is the – lack of quality motivation.
So, we will now look at three (3) principles that may be that ace-in-the-hole, to assist YOU achieve huge successes in just about any area of your life. I arrived at these principles from my interviews and interactions with half dozen super successful individuals (or couples).
Principle #1: Overcoming Negative Habits
Have you ever noticed that your mood can shift in a matter of seconds, without you even knowing why? Have you ever realized that over 90% of your thinking is always pointing towards something negative? How many times have you taken a trip in your mind, to things that you did wrong in the past, and have scolded yourself over and over? Have you realized that it is difficult to overcome these negative thoughts from occurring?
Why should we short circuit these negative thoughts ASAP?
A very simple answer is that thoughts influence our actions, which then turn into habits. Now, I believe that we can see a pattern here; as well as it is wishful thinking to expect great positive habits stemming from negative thoughts.
We have many-many-many thoughts in our heads and the mistake that many of us make is that we focus heavily on the negative ones (those of fear, insecurities, greed etc) and eventually, we become immobilized/ stuck. I can tell you now, that success will continue to elude us, unless we over-ride these negative habits.
How do we overcome Negative habits?
When you’re having an unwanted thought that you did not intentionally welcome, ask yourself this “Is this useful”?
I know someone stopped reading because that question seems so simple, right? However, the reason for asking yourself that question consciously is to put YOU in the driver’s seat of your mind. Just remember that successful people talk to themselves all the time!
When negative thoughts are spinning and swirling, and you keep dwelling on them, what you just did was to invite them in, to take control. You are allowing those negative thoughts to have power over you. When you ask yourself that question (“is this useful“), you are allowing your mind to be vulnerable…. To you!
For example, you are feeling lonely, depressed, a little sad or anxious and sorry for yourself. Your thoughts may be going like this:
“… I feel so alone;
I have no one to talk to;
what am I doing with my life?
What’s wrong with me?
I wish I had more friends….” etc. Just ask yourself the question, “Are these thoughts useful right now”? Your obvious answer should be “Of course not”!
And this is how I want you to interpret it, what good is going to come from you feeling sorry for yourself in that moment? What good are those thoughts doing? They are only making you feel worse.
By you asking yourself that all-important question (are these thoughts useful right now?), you are giving yourself power over them and the most powerful thing is that you’ve given yourself permission to stop those thoughts and to start taking action.
The next step is where you now start feeding positive things to your mind.
“How does one feed the mind positive food”?
You start reading uplifting books, listening to motivating CD’s and audios that will help to short-circuit and over-ride the negative thoughts.
Will you have success soon after you have started?
Maybe not! However, I want you to know (or remember) that success is the little daily habits repeated over and over…… One example is Usain Bolt training for the Olympics, he does this by running the same 100M over and over and over.
Principle #2: Focus on the Process NOT the Results
Most people embarking on a new business venture, or some life changing regime (for example losing weight), get discouraged very quickly when the results do not reflect mega success in the early stages. What I recommend is that persons acquire more knowledge, because if you focus on the excitement of discovery, improving, exploring and experimenting, your motivation will always be fueled.
However, if the focus was only on the results, you will be discouraged easily and subsequently give up. The key is to learn; even if you’re learning the same things over and over. Usain Bolt runs approximately fifty 100M daily in training.
Most people are into the habit of defeating their own progress. They do this constantly by ignoring the process involved to achieving their desired goals, and religiously focusing on the results instead. So, whether the goal you have set for yourself is to lose a lot of weight (so you can have that amazing figure), or it may be that you want to make a lot of money, or maybe you want to attract a certain person into your life and have a great relationship.
Those are all going to take something special to acquire. However, the problem is that most people are too fixated and attached to the results. Now, do not get me sideways. Having the result in mind is a brilliant way to keep track. The danger in becoming too laser-focused on the results is that when the results are not forthcoming, then people (in general) become disappointed, frustrated and they often give up.
This is probably what being a dabbler is all about. A quote I heard sums this up “The person who is least attached to the result becomes the person who has the greatest success-rate in achieving that same result”.
Let me expound on this. With any result or goal, there is always a process involved to achieving that goal or result. Now the process, is the single most important reason that you will be allowed to achieve that goal or result. For example, if you want to lose weight, there is a process that you will have to go through in order to achieve it (those extra pounds are not going to just fall off).
Same thing applies if you want to make a lot of money, there is a process or strategy or method involved, that you would have to apply in order to attain more money than you currently have. So here is what’s important, it is that strategy or method or process that you have to first master. Incidentally, when you have mastered a process or strategy, it not only allows you to have that result you wanted initially, but also you are now able to create that result over and over in your life.
So, if you wanted to first lose weight, you need to understand that there is a learning curve and that is true for every other life goal you want to attract. So, if you’ve never been to a gym, you are not going to just lose 10 pounds just like that. You have to first learn how to exercise properly; you have to learn how to use the equipment, you also have to learn how to develop the habit of going to the gym every day. You have to learn how to do cardio daily. You also would have to learn how to consistently eat the right foods. It all boils down to discipline, and that too must be learnt properly as discipline is a process.
The same would go for making a lot of money; there are certain steps that must be employed. The truth is that most people want to make a certain amount of money, in a certain time frame, but do not want to put in the background work necessary to achieve these results. They do not first learn how to make money; they just go out and try to make money…… The result is usually an epic failure.
This is because every successful entrepreneur has to study trends, and they have to be willing to allow themselves to grow and develop. They had to learn the process and how everything works, before it actually does work. For some people, it takes years before they start becoming successful in business.
Essentially, most persons who become really successful in building businesses online focus on the process first. They would then focus on making their first dollar. After making your first dollar online, you have exercised the process and all you need to do now is to repeat the process, do more of the process and scale it up and enhance that particular process.
It is not as difficult, after you’ve learnt the strategy or process involved. Many successful people will tell you that their big secret to always winning is that they have got the process down. They have ‘systemized’ it, many have automated it. What happens here is that they have done it repeatedly so often that they can now generate even more success.
Same thing goes for exercise; when you have been through the processes of knowing how to exercise and when not to, knowing what foods to eat and when to eat them, something remarkable happens. So even if you regained some weight or get out of shape, it is not going to take any great length to whip yourself back into shape, because you know the process.
I had an interesting interview with a dating coach who made some startling revelations. He said that majority of his clients were men who wanted help in meeting women. He said that a lot of the guys would say to him that they all want to just skip everything and just go on dates with these females. He said that he would encourage them to forget about rushing to a date at first and focus on the process of landing a date.
The ‘date’ is just one possible result that if done correctly, could lead to much greater results. He would teach them instead, to focus on today, this week, on building the confidence, to approaching the female. Once that step was down then they could move on to how they had conversations with people- not just the females in question.
When the males learnt how to strike up a conversation, then the focus would expand to having say a ten minutes’ conversation with someone. The focus on how to get someone’s phone number–then focused on calling that person and setting up the date, before focusing on the date itself.
What was important was that focus was spent on the process of the date-not the date itself. So, the key is not to seek a short-cut. The focus placed on the process of dating could be repeated and applied again and again when necessary.
What is important to note is that people will always look for ways to cheat the process. Many people do not want to be patient and as such they will seek ways of going around the process. That is evident when so many people try the lottery or gambling (among other things).
Nothing is wrong in winning millions of dollars.
What is bad is that you get that million dollars and you will fall right back to where you were before (or even lower) because they do not have the process, the daily habits of saving and investing (for example). So, they will then not be in a position to sufficiently manage all that kind of money, because they have never been through that process.
What is also interesting is that often times, people who make that kind of money in a short space of time (lottery etc.) are constantly in fear of losing that money. T
hey are in fear because they have not gone through a process in achieving it. They do not have the confidence, ability or process to be able to get back to where they were before. Many astronomically successful people have lost lots and lots of money, but they are never too worried because they have the process down to a science.
That way, when things start going sideways, they know already what it will take to get them back to the level of plenty.
Incidentally, if you have gone through a process, gaining weight (after you’ve been trying to lose it) you will not be as difficult to get back in shape because you have mastered the process of losing weight. It all boils down to simple disciplines repeated over time.
So, a person trying to lose weight and takes the shortcut of doing surgery or liposuction etc. that person will be regaining that weight back because they haven’t changed their eating habits, or the habit of exercising every day. This means that they will end up right where they were before.
I have gone to countless seminars and meetings when I was learning how to be wealthy, and one thing that has been the staple among all the financially free people is that they are all great money managers.
So they would tell the audience that if you cannot currently manage the money that you have, then you will not be able to manage millions. I struggled with this at first, but the more I immersed myself into the habit of managing the little that I had, the sayings of my mentors Ty and Venessa Crandell rang true.
They would always say that “the habit is more important than the amount”.
So, you will hear people say that when they make more money they will save or invest some. However, if they are not saving and investing now, then they are not going to do that or do it effectively when they have plenty.
Get in the habit of saving and investing from now, with what you have, as you will most likely not save or invest when you have plenty. It is a habit and habits can be changed by being disciplined. Once you have the habit mastered, you will be able to manage whatever amounts are given to you easier.
In summary, you should focus entirely on mastering the process in achieving anything. Once the process is mastered, and understand that there will be lots of challenges and ups & downs with learning the process, you can create even way more results than you thought you’d have created.
Principle #3: AVOID WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTIONS
If you want to be successful or more successful, you will have a hard time concentrating IF you do not rid yourself of distractions. If you’ve tried concentrating on a particular task, you may realize that it is easy to be overwhelmed by the numerous distractions.
Too many things are all clamoring for your attention; people trying to reach you by phone, text, email, or old fashion yelling down the hall…… Colleagues interrupt, you need to update Facebook, check in, post….. Then other distractions jump at you from the most unlikely places, buzzing, chirping or vibrating.
Growing up in a Jamaican ghetto/ inner city community, one of my first dreams was to become a great good man. However, I got distracted by the reality on the ground, and modified my dream, by telling myself that I wanted to be a great don.
Someone once asked me why? Well, the don was respected. He got what he wanted and people did what he wanted. I saw that as success- at that time. It didn’t take me long to realize that the don was not able to go where he pleased, outside of the community.
That was when I realized that I was building a dream on a limited vision. I then joined the youth club in the community and my life became somewhat structured when I joined the Jamalco Track team.
I can vividly recall the person (coach) who kept pushing me- even when I didn’t want to, I had to train. What was profound is that though I didn’t want to, I had coaches to report to, so I had to continue training.
This is one of the fundamental rules for success; structuring our lives. We are kept laser-sharp when there is structure, as it keeps us focused. So, your first line of duty is to get intimate with a structure; better yet, get intimate with a process of avoiding those things that hinder us from maximum focus.
Distractions are many and diverse. Overcoming them is a major hurdle successful people learn how to get out of the way.
There are steps you can take to quiet the buzz in your brain, and in addition to feeling calmer, you will be more efficient.
Try these steps:
If you keep the TV, radio or music turned on in the background, turn them off.
Post a sticky note, or write down somewhere that you’ll see often “Quiet Mind”- whenever you see you, drop your shoulders, relax your jaw and smooth out your thoughts.
Organize space so that it’s attractive, well-organised and well-lit…… Outer Order Contributes to Inner Calm.
Cut down on the multi-tasking- don’t talk on the phone while doing the dishes…. Don’t check your email while listening to an important conference call….. Don’t sort out the mail when your child is trying to explain a school project that’s due next week.
Turn your cell phone ringer off. Did you know that hearing your cell phone ringing is a common source of jumpiness?
Take a break from doing errands… keep a list, but do not try to cram them in throughout your day.
Use the internet to look up only specific pieces of information- no jumping from link to link, no browsing.
Turn off your email for some parts of the day-
Stop counting- avoid looking too often at the clock, contracts, bank statements, bathroom scales or anything having to do with numbers, in order to allow the other part of your brain to take over.
Exercise- Yes, it is true that taking regular breaks is good for focus, but, as with everything else, know your limits.
Flee temptation- It is very important that you have dedicated space in which to think and work
Learn how to snip/ cut off those negative people from your life- these people are always having something negative to say or contribute. These people will function similarly to sand bags, while what you need are people functioning as gas in gas balloons
“If you want to be successful or more successful, you will have a hard time concentrating IF you do not rid yourself of distractions”
The weapons of Mass Distraction
As seen above, anyone needing greater success in their lives will need to sacrifice some things that they may hold dearly at present. The number 1 thing that truly separates successful people from other people is the propensity to prioritize. The successful individual knows that there are way too many weapons of mass distractions available and he/she treats them accordingly.
To the person seeking more success in their lives, a decision would have to be made as to how they approach these devices/ media of mass distraction:
- Mobile Phones– these are extremely useful in managing personal/ business data. However, the unsuccessful person spends way too much time on their mobile devices doing things that are not beneficial to their elevation.
- Internet– if used properly, the internet can make anyone an extremely knowledgeable and/ or wealthy individual. However, most persons use it in very unwise fashions. These individuals will surf Facebook all day long, and when they get bored with Facebook, they turn to Instagram and when that gets boring they turn to Snap Chat and to Twitter (maybe), to WhatsApp. Then repeat the process multiple times during a day. Individuals pursuing success on the other hand, tend to use these distraction media less and maximize the usage by providing quality content.
- Television– is an important medium of information interchange. However, majority of the users of this medium hinder their own successes. They would watch their favorite series movies all day and when they’re tired, they will ask on Facebook for recommendations for other movies to watch. Essentially, these individuals are giving away time that they could’ve spent being productive. Unsuccessful people will continue to make other people successful by investing too much time into the wrong things.
- Negative People– will suck the life out of your dreams. Get into the habit of dropping some friends, or family members who have nothing positive to contribute to your life, dreams or ambitions. Here are some tips you can use:
1.Set boundaries– you do not have to feel pressured to speak with a negative minded person. Just as long as you set clear boundaries.
- Avoid complainers– there are many people who like to complain, but they will never do anything to alleviate their situations. Flee from among them!
- Develop a Support System– hang out with positive people. Did you know that you are the sum total of your top 5 closest associations? Their positive vibe will start rubbing off on you.
If you want to have success or more success, you will have to get from among negative folk.
>Ty and Venessa Crandell